I was thinking about why I was not writing here since 2015 summer.
Many things had changed then.
A friend of mine once said it was a blessing to be able to help that many people (he used the words ‘kegyelmi állapot’) and it is so true I couldn’t say it better.
I felt Green Tara so many times behind me, above me, inside me and instead of me that I will never lose her. I will never lose feeling her. I am so thankful for it. Köszönöm.
But the people I met, talked to, loved, respected and helped have long gone by and so did the actual situation. Even friendships perished with distance and time. Rules and border control have changed and so did the routes and paths which made our abilities as volunteers limited, restricted and changed.
But something has stayed with me since then which made me not to stop all the so-called caritative work against so much difficulties. Something I still found in it – till now.
I knew words only come to me, come this blog when there is silence.
But I was much more active than any time in my life before and I enjoyed it a lot.
What was it that I enjoyed so much to give up my personal life, my time for sleep, all my beloved hobbies and also this blog and silence for?
My Masters would say: look behind. See what you can find there?
What was that I found in the chaotic bustle of 2015 summer and also in another form since then?
Today I was running early in the morning in blessed gentle rain listening to the Colors of the Wind and I found my peace and silence to see what is common in all the things I love:
love (when support of a man gives me the courage and self-confidence to be myself).
It is freedom.
And this is the reason why I don’t go and do what my friends usually do and I also think of as good things like going to demonstrations, talk groups or partying.
Half is not enough.
And I only seek where I can find it totally.
It was freedom what 2015 summer brought here to this small country. Seeing so many people fleeing from war to safety, from indignity to an expected prospering life or even seeking for financial freedom. I will never forget the power making thousands of people give up their lives and move to the unkown. I will never forget their words, their smiles, their hands, their children, their eyes.
And I know I should never forget, I should never lose sight of seeking only where this freedom points to.
~ ˇ ~
To say it clear: freedom can only point to Freedom.
~ ˇ ~
It was a great adventure (jó mulatság, férfimunka volt). So far, so good.
Let’s see what has remained.
I will always be thankful.
Спасибо (but tоварищи, really… never come back please…
you know… Blue and Black Taras in me are always ready for a good fight)